Who am I really? (Part 8 of 40)

I'm not a heartless person, even though last week I told a Yemeni student that staying up until 4am the night before he was to give his presentation because he was on the phone with his family, learning that four of his friends were killed during last Friday's massacre, was not a legitimate excuse to miss his presentation. If you're shocked by this action, I didn't excuse it because he had asked for special treatment on due dates throughout the block, and my sympathy was, at that point, tapped out, and I couldn't stomach the thought of him using the massacre as an excuse to get a reprieve, which he was granted and which he botched because he wasn't prepared even two days later.

I believe that I am a compassionate person, and as I gather more life experience, I feel myself becoming more compassionate to others. That being said, I have been criticized (as recently as 2 months ago), that I am too nice and that if I'm not careful, people will play on my compassion and good nature. Well, this is not ground-breaking news, keen observer. I'm not the only person who strives to be good naturedly and finds him- or herself getting the short end of the stick as a result of said good nature. But does this mean that we should give up being good? That we should say, "Meh. I'm not going to follow ethical or moral standards because if I do, it will only prove to punish me in the end?" God help us if this becomes the mantra of the masses.

I'm reminded of Matthew 10:16 -- "Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves." What a great verse within a great passage this is because it gives calmness to those who worry about being servants of God. We are not guaranteed a seamless and successful life if we choose to follow God, but that shouldn't stop us from being a flame of light in the darkness and have a dove-like countenance in nature. The Lord grants us wisdom and good judgment to help us in our lives. He trusts that we use these gifts to discern what is right and just, and to act accordingly in specific situations -- to be shrewd in our discernments.

Although it may not be glaringly obvious to others, I have been making strides to be a more "shrewd serpent" in my life, ever since brother K at MSUMF shared a mediation 3 years ago on this same verse. In my professional life and my social life, my fangs have broken through the gum line and continue to grow within reason with the Lord's guidance. I'm thankful for His gifts of wisdom and good judgment; I'm thankful for the shape my life has developed through these gifts. I am a person with heart, for without a heart I would be without love. Without love, I would not be able to serve the Lord. Without serving the Lord, I would have no purpose. I'm grateful for a discerning, compassionate heart.