Dear random pigeon,
I'm sorry that I hit you with my car this morning on the way to class. I thought since you were not making moves to fly from the road, like your friends, it would be best to drive over you by straddling you with the car tires. Somehow, I think you panicked, and tried to run or fly in the milliseconds it took for me to drive over you. As I looked in the rear-view mirror to see if you made it or not, I saw your body flopping somewhat energetically on the pavement, and I felt bad, but without remorse. Then I thought, "Maybe that pigeon was deaf." If you were deaf, I'm sorry that my strategy didn't work. If you weren't deaf, then your cousins are beating you in the Darwin game.
Rest well, feathered buddy.
Sincerely,
The Mazda 3 driver who killed you
I'm sorry that I hit you with my car this morning on the way to class. I thought since you were not making moves to fly from the road, like your friends, it would be best to drive over you by straddling you with the car tires. Somehow, I think you panicked, and tried to run or fly in the milliseconds it took for me to drive over you. As I looked in the rear-view mirror to see if you made it or not, I saw your body flopping somewhat energetically on the pavement, and I felt bad, but without remorse. Then I thought, "Maybe that pigeon was deaf." If you were deaf, I'm sorry that my strategy didn't work. If you weren't deaf, then your cousins are beating you in the Darwin game.
Rest well, feathered buddy.
Sincerely,
The Mazda 3 driver who killed you
4 comments:
We had a deal!
Monique, that is me. That is what happens when you create a secret google identity so you can create a blog where you write nasty things about your job.
"Brettforn" - I'm so embarrassed to tell you that I didn't get the reference "We had a deal!" Is this from the Big Lebowski?
Now that I know your true identity, I can see the inner workings of small town libraries in the Midwest.
Rats. You're too secret for me. I couldn't access your page. No worries. I'll just imagine the shenanigans at your place of work. Maybe you can do a screen play, like with "Parks and Recreation"
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